Dear 3 Month Mark!!

Tattoo #3- הנני or Hineni

First we must understand a few things. Call stories-  times when God defies all logic and is outspoken to call out to humans, to draw them towards fell deeds and adventure and even terrible danger, for the sake of something vital to God’s kingdom.There are two words to describe our response to this. We could say “Po ani” or a “Hineni”.  The first meaning “I’m here” in the same sense most of us meant it in the back row of chem lab in high school — “I’m barely here, but beyond that, blahhh.”  On the other hand, hineni has a lot more *BOOM*.  It’s about being here, and close by, and present, but also about readiness, awareness.  So we get the sense it’s more of a “Here I am!  Look, it’s me!  I’m present, listening, and ready to roll.  I’m at your service.”  A better answer for God.  And it pops up everywhere…

If you remember when Abraham takes his long-promised son, Isaac, up on the mountain to sacrifice him to God (as God tests his faith), at the moment when Abraham has the boy tied down and his knife raised over his head to do the deed, the voice of God cries out, “Abraham!  Abraham!”  How does Abraham answer?  “HINENI!  HINENI!”  “Here I am, awaiting further instructions (and hoping this means my boy can live)!”  That was the beginning of a call story for him.

If you remember Moses, out in the wilderness and hearing a voice from afar, “Moses, Moses.”  There was a bush that looked like it was on fire but wouldn’t burn up, and it was where the voice came from.  Moses replied, “Hineni.”  “Yes, it’s me, here I am.”  And the call story had begun.

Samuel, the famous prophet who annointed King David, started as a little boy in the priest’s house who woke up to a voice calling in the night, “Samuel, Samuel.”  When he asked the priest who it was and how to respond, he told him what to say:  “Hineni!”  So the story began.

Isaiah, another famous prophet, has a vision of God in heaven on God’s throne, in the midst of God’s glory, the smoke and thunder and power.  God asks, “Whom shall we send?  Who will go for us?”  Isaiah calls out, “Here I am!  Send me!”  He said, “Hineni.” And there it begins...

Now, while I am not claiming to be a prophet, I do have a call story. 
God has defied my human logic and comprehension and said 'Chelsea! I want you to go to Uganda!' Now finally I am saying 'Hineni Father!!' Here I am!

For the past 6 months I have been praying for God to show me that really going to Africa was what HE wanted and not what I wanted. Well He has done just that! Through simple things like sending me a song(and the band that sings that song) "I'll Follow You" by Leeland. Or prayers like 'If You want me to go Father provide the way.' and the VERY NEXT day getting a check for 400$! Even answering joking prayers like 'I'll move to Africa if you provide a Cannon DSLR camera.' Guess what? He provided a Cannon DSLR camera and I am moving to Africa.
When God calls, He calls!

Are there any areas in your life where God is wanting you to cry out 'Hineni, Father!'?
Where God just wants to let go and say, 'Here I am Lord, may I be used for Your Glory.'?
If you are afraid of this 'calling' whatever it may be remember that God doesn't call the equipped. He equips the called.'
Be His Vessel. That's another post all together though. =)


Sincerely, 
Going to Uganda 

Matchless Love

Recently, I have discovered a call to go to Africa. It is a trip that is going to be very challenging for me because it is one of the few things out of my comfort zone. For the first time in a while I can say that I am truly terrified about going..
As contrary as this may sound, I am quite terrified but have never had so much peace about a decision in my life. I have recently also began to develop such a burden for AIDS orphans.
It makes me think of the song, Orphans Of God. Which then humbles me to think that in my desolate pit of sin, He is by my side. Without Christ I am this person I do not want to be, I am controlling, manipulative, and just negative. Christ is by my side even then.
When I got back this summer, I truly felt abandoned by God, like He had left me out to dry. I had this mountain top experience as I had so many times before, but this was different. I was different, changed for the better. Then Satan hit and tried to tell me nothing had changed, but everything had. I believed his lies.
I think as we mature as Christians we re-learn lessons, the become more relevant and powerful to us.
My re-learned lesson is my need for Christ.
He is truly all we need.
He is all I want, more than tomorrow or yesterday. I need Him.

I have been bought with a price, one of great measure. It makes me think of the women who are sold into slavery, freedom is something they can only dream of. We have been given that and more.
His love is matchless. Truly matchless. Rejoice in this.

Dear Yesterday,

You are my yesterday, not in tomorrow or the day after that. The difference is I am stronger. Yes, stronger than yesterday. I'm not willing to go down that mountain again..

I see down there toward the lillies and deceptively disguised wolves. They seem so close but so far away.. If God is the defender and the righteous judge, I guess there is no room for me to even investigate the difference. But tomorrow I'll look forward, to the dawn of this new day. Run ahead 'Therefore since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and sin that so easily ensnares us, and run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus the source and perfecter of our faith...' Hebrews 12:1,2

No longer will this slow me down, no longer will it tangle me in confusion or heartache.

No more yesterdays. Only tomorrows.

Lord, give us the strength to climb this mountain and never look back.

With the shell of what used to be my love,

NYA

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Dear K,

I know we never met, and I know my 'crew' and I were only there for 3.5 weeks, but I heard about you and my heart was broken.
I don't know what home is like for you, if it is good or bad, safe or a place of fear.
I don't if you are in primary or secondary school.
I don't know what year you are. 7?11? 14?
I don't even know your last name.
I don't know if you have hear every line in the book from men.
I don't know if you think you have gone 'too far' in life and cannot stop.
I do know that guys may pay attention to you in that mini skirt, or low cut dress but they'll never respect you.
I do know that throwing your self at a guy to get his attention is .not. the way to keep his attention.
I also know that as much as you want for that self inflicted pain to take away the pain you cannot control the pain inside.
I do know that as much as you want the past cannot be erased. 

I know it sounded silly and maybe stupid when we told you.
A free gift like that? No way right?
Someone that would forgive everything you've done wrong?
Someone that would love you?

I DO know that it is true
because I have been there, I know where you are.
I feel your pain because, all scars even though they heal, they also are reminders of the past.

The King does SO love you!
And I so wish you could see how He loves you.
I wish you could see how much you are worth.
That you are a princess.


You.are.loved.

By a King who is always there, who carries you when you can't stand on your own.
He gave His own Son to be a sacrifice of love for you.

¹⁷ The LORD your God is among you,
    a mighty warrior who saves.
    He will rejoice over you with singing.
    He will quiet you with His love.
    He will delight in you with shouts of joy."
Zephaniah 3:17



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hQRgyr5uko

Only, Always in His Strength,

~VS~