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I am a wondering soul under the watch of My King. I have no place I call my home because I am made to dwell in a different capacity. This journey is merely an adventure, one that will come to an end and the steps I take now are taking me closer to My Home. I live to love and glorify My King, under His keep I do not idly sit and wait, I tenaciously run a race that is challenging but not impossible, and worth everything I am. Sometimes I lose sight of what I am running to but it is then I am reminded I was promised safe passage through the sea.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Dear 3 Month Mark!!

Tattoo #3- הנני or Hineni

First we must understand a few things. Call stories-  times when God defies all logic and is outspoken to call out to humans, to draw them towards fell deeds and adventure and even terrible danger, for the sake of something vital to God’s kingdom.There are two words to describe our response to this. We could say “Po ani” or a “Hineni”.  The first meaning “I’m here” in the same sense most of us meant it in the back row of chem lab in high school — “I’m barely here, but beyond that, blahhh.”  On the other hand, hineni has a lot more *BOOM*.  It’s about being here, and close by, and present, but also about readiness, awareness.  So we get the sense it’s more of a “Here I am!  Look, it’s me!  I’m present, listening, and ready to roll.  I’m at your service.”  A better answer for God.  And it pops up everywhere…
If you remember when Abraham takes his long-promised son, Isaac, up on the mountain to sacrifice him to God (as God tests his faith), at the moment when Abraham has the boy tied down and his knife raised over his head to do the deed, the voice of God cries out, “Abraham!  Abraham!”  How does Abraham answer?  “HINENI!  HINENI!”  “Here I am, awaiting further instructions (and hoping this means my boy can live)!”  That was the beginning of a call story for him.
If you remember Moses, out in the wilderness and hearing a voice from afar, “Moses, Moses.”  There was a bush that looked like it was on fire but wouldn’t burn up, and it was where the voice came from.  Moses replied, “Hineni.”  “Yes, it’s me, here I am.”  And the call story had begun.
Samuel, the famous prophet who annointed King David, started as a little boy in the priest’s house who woke up to a voice calling in the night, “Samuel, Samuel.”  When he asked the priest who it was and how to respond, he told him what to say:  “Hineni!”  So the story began.
Isaiah, another famous prophet, has a vision of God in heaven on God’s throne, in the midst of God’s glory, the smoke and thunder and power.  God asks, “Whom shall we send?  Who will go for us?”  Isaiah calls out, “Here I am!  Send me!”  He said, “Hineni.” And there it begins...

Now, while I am not claiming to be a prophet, I do have a call story. 
God has defied my human logic and comprehension and said 'Chelsea! I want you to go to Uganda!' Now finally I am saying 'Hineni Father!!' Here I am!

For the past 6 months I have been praying for God to show me that really going to Africa was what HE wanted and not what I wanted. Well He has done just that! Through simple things like sending me a song(and the band that sings that song) "I'll Follow You" by Leeland. Or prayers like 'If You want me to go Father provide the way.' and the VERY NEXT day getting a check for 400$! Even answering joking prayers like 'I'll move to Africa if you provide a Cannon DSLR camera.' Guess what? He provided a Cannon DSLR camera and I am moving to Africa.
When God calls, He calls!

Are there any areas in your life where God is wanting you to cry out 'Hineni, Father!'?
Where God just wants to let go and say, 'Here I am Lord, may I be used for Your Glory.'?
If you are afraid of this 'calling' whatever it may be remember that God doesn't call the equipped. He equips the called.'
Be His Vessel. That's another post all together though. =)


Sincerely, 
Going to Uganda